We are often the creators of our own misery.
Sad but true.
We create conflict when there is none and become angry when our lives are complicated and drama filled. We grow resentful. We become unhappy.
On my bus ride home after work there was a man standing at the backdoor.
He was standing right in front of the sensor that people tap their transit cards against when they get on the bus through the rear.
A young woman got on the bus through the backdoor said excuse me to the man and tagged her card against the sensor.
The man began to yell at her. “You’re so rude,” he told her.
He was so upset with her for tagging her card when he was standing there near the sensor. He felt personally offended that she had the audacity to that when he was standing there.
Although she said excuse me, hadn’t touched him and had not in any way been rude. Although there were other places the man could have chosen to stand.
“It’s all good, man,” she told him. “We don’t have any problems. We’re cool,” as he continued to make mean aggressive statements under his breath.
At the next stop when more people got on the bus the man did the same thing.
He grew more and more agitated.
More and more angry.
The ironic thing is he stood right there; near the sensor knowing that every single person who got on the backdoor would have to pass by him and tag their card on it.
He created the situation that he was angry about. He chose to be miserable.
In fact, he was so miserable and angry that he eventually had to “get off this fucking bus” before his stop. And when he did get off he stormed out the door in a flurry of cuss words. Angry at everyone on the bus.
Angry at life.
Everyday we makes choices that can lead us to happiness or lead us to misery.
We do things knowing they will make us unhappy. In some cases, it’s almost like we look for things to make us unhappy. We get bent out of shape over the smallest thing.
A car cutting us off in traffic.
The woman who takes too long in front of you at the counter.
Your child for not doing something fast enough.
We are making ourselves sick because of the choices that we make — to stand by the sensor on the backdoor of the bus knowing every single person who enters the bus has to tag their transit pass on it.
The choice always lies in us.
We can say, “It’s all good, man,” and not sweat the small shit.
We can make the choice to avoid conflict by not allowing the little things to get to us. By not always having to be right or have the last word.
Taking charge of our own happiness and being aware of the things that bother us can save us from a world of stress and unnecessary aggravation.
Or, if all else fails, we can always choose to walk.
How do you avoid creating drama in your own life?