I recently participated in my first ever Self-Centered Sunday.
In the past the idea of being self-centered has gotten a bad wrap. It’s been associated with someone who is completely self-absorbed in a bad way when, in fact, sometimes being self-centered, the focus of one’s world, is the best thing any one of us can do.
So, what is this new phenomena?
I first stumbled up on the idea of Self-Centered Sunday on the lovely blog The Wellness Warrior. On the blog, Tara Bliss (and yes that’s her real name and what a freakin’ awesome last name at that!) talked about the idea of using Sunday as a day for self-love and healing. The idea just clicked for me.
I hate using being a mom as an excuse for not treating myself well. It really is just that — an excuse.
Although, of course, all moms have to make sacrifices for their children and we do have to put their well-being first in many ways, it does not give us permission to forget about ourselves.
It’s actually bad for our children when we don’t show ourselves love.
Not only are we not in tip-top shape for the the rigorous act of parenting, but we’re also teaching them (especially our daughters) a lesson whether or not we realize it. We are teaching them how to treat themselves when they become adults.
When I stumbled upon Tara’s guest post, I knew right then and there that I needed to declare a day for myself. It couldn’t be a week day because of school, ballet lessons and homework. It couldn’t be Saturday because of gymnastics and play dates, and mommy-kid fun time.
That left Sunday — the perfect day. It’s the perfect day because if you feel great on Sunday you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a great Monday.
All week I looked forward to Sunday thinking about the fancy tea lunch I was going to have. I mapped out my entire day in my mind. I have one of those personalities and love planning and making lists, so that’s what I did.
After my fancy vegan tea lunch, I planned on taking a bath with candles and oil and epsom salt, going to a bookstore, reading books and just relaxing all day.
I was going to do my nails and watch a movie I love.
I planned so many things to squeeze into that one day.
Since I haven’t been very kind to myself I figured I needed extra lovin’.
As usual life happened and when Sunday came knocking at my door I had no babysitter.
I couldn’t imagine to taking Lovebug out to tea. That would be like bringing a tiny elephant to a china shop. It would not have been relaxing in the least.
Not having a sitter meant that I had to switch all my plans around. It meant that I could have gotten sad and bummed about all my well-laid plans for a day of pampering.
It could have sent me into a spiral of sadness and feeling sorry for myself. The opposite point of the whole Self-Centered Sunday thing.
Instead, I decided that I was still doing Self-Centered Sunday because I didn’t need to be alone to show myself love. I called my friend P. and she wanted to tag along for a girls day of fun and self-love.
So… we drove around looking at the beautiful city.
We went to the bookstore and I got the book I wanted as well as books for Macaroni and her friend about girls changing bodies and how to care for them. The book spawned all sorts of funny (and educational) conversations about the female body, periods, and breasts and what puberty means.
Macaroni is learning what it will be like to become a woman and that is important. The whole book that was on sale for little to nothing caused a conversation that was so appropriate; on the day I had declared as my day of self-love we were discussing womanhood and the power that we all have inside us.
Then we went to lunch and sat outside in the glorious weather. I had a mimosa and ate bread for the first time in I don’t know how long. It was spread thick with strawberry jam.
The food was so good and we all felt so good, so happy.
After that we went to a crystal store where I got crystals for the self-love space that I’m creating.
My quiet corner.
The shop owner was so smitten with the girls that she gave them free crystals (of their choosing) as a gift. When someone gives you a crystal as a gift that’s special. I totally took it as a sign from the Universe.The sun was shining and I could just feel the Universe sending us love.
We came home and watched Seven Years in Tibet and talked about war, why people do bad things, and the power of love.
Later Dada wanted Thai Food so we ordered in. No one had to cook.
Another lovely gesture.
Then Lovebug decided to go to sleep on time which left me with a moment to read my favorite blogs and completely relax.
I decided I was too hot for a bath and instead to completely veg out and watch The City Girl Diaries.
Then I went to bed feeling so much love and so much joy in my heart.
And for the first time ever Lovebug slept the entire night through. (This is major!)
The day I had was more joyful and complete than the day I had planned and had worked up as what a day of self lovin’ should be. It’s funny how when you just surrender and let go of what you thought something should be and just accept was is that it can actually be better than anything you were expecting.
If you’ve been neglecting yourself because of whatever, I encourage you to take a day and claim it your day of self-love.
What do you do to honor and show yourself a little extra lovin’?