The Surrender of Self

December 6, 2013 — Leave a comment

When someone we love dies we try to make sense of something that doesn’t seem to make sense. We grieve and may even feel lost, as if we are unsure how we will be able to navigate life without them.

To never hear that voice, or see that smile, smell that scent, or be held in those arms. To never again laugh together, to get angry at one another and make up.To be left with only memories that sometimes fade like photographs over time.

This is where the pain comes from. It is from the belief that our relationship with them is completely over.

The ultimate break-up.

It is from the belief that when our loved ones pass on they leave us here in the now and that our connection to them breaks. Even if you believe in Heaven or reincarnation or an afterlife, most of us feel a great loss when someone who has our hearts passes on. The amount of time that we have on this planet feels finite, even if we live to be over a hundred.

We are all born with the knowledge that eventually we will die. The ironic thing is that in Western culture death is something to fear. It is something that is taboo, in a way.

Death is not funny.

It’s seen as a sad time with all black attire, somber music, and crying until you can no longer cry. Other places in the world and at other times in history it was not seen as so.

But I was born here and now and in my life death has always been something that makes me uncomfortable. It makes a lot of us uncomfortable. Even now, I have not completely reconciled my feelings about death with my belief that we are all Spirits having a human experience.

Because death is seen as an ending. Not only because we will never hear/see/feel the person (or ourselves) in the same way but because we’re so disconnected with the world and with our own divinity that it feels like it is the end.

The final final.

No mas, no more.

That’s all she wrote folks.

But what if it is not an end but just another experience leading our Spirits on to the next experience or back home to the place where we are all one?

click image for source

11 years before my Grandmother died, on my birthday in fact, she wrote these words:

To surrender to the reality of one human being — this human being on one of many planets in the Universe is to dream of a day, in a time, in a space where we can surrender our ego and that intangible thing that we conceive of as self to the idea that perhaps we each are swinging on a universal trapeze. As the scent of lavender becomes one with our scent, it will amaze the infinite life force that surrounds us all and purge us of our fragility, torpedo our rationalizations and justifications of self, and finally we shall find peace as one of the millions of ones that make up the Universe. – Helen Major, May 3, 2002

What if we are all just swinging on a universal trapeze?

What if when we fully understand and surrender the idea of “self” and that we are separate and apart from the more, from God/Source/The One (or whatever name you call it by) and each other, we can find peace in the knowledge that we make up the Universe?

And if we are one of the millions that make up the Universe then that means we are the Universe, in the here and now.

It means that we always have been and always will be of and from the Divine.

A ray of sunshine is not separate and apart from the sun nor are we, in this physical space, separate and apart from the Universe and each other. This means that we do not truly die. We do not end and our connections to one another does not end.

It merely shifts like the sun across the sky. IMG_2744


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