Archives For Life Coach Lessons

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Ladies have hard expectations when it comes to how we’re supposed to look. Photoshopped magazines and the Victoria’s Secret televised fashion show can do wonders to damage our body image.

Because most of us will never look like that in real life.

Even most of the models in magazines don’t look like that way in real life when up close and personal with them! (Trust me, I lived in London in a flat with high earning, world traveling, Vogue gracing, catwalk strutting models.)

Patterns of body bashing and negative self image can start really early. In fact, I read a figure that suggests that by the age of ten 40% of girls have poor self-esteem or body issues.

We are not taught that our bodies are beautiful and that no matter what our bodies look like on the outside, we should respect and appreciate them. It’s no wonder that so many of us feel awkward in our own skin. We’ve forgotten how awesome we are in every way!

To get that mojo back,a little full on self worship can help you see yourself with new eyes.

::Shake What Your Mama Gave You::

Doing something physical can totally help you feel like a sexy mofo. Maybe that means hitting the gym or using cable to do a free OnDemand video. It could mean taking a yoga class, going for a walk, or (my all time favorite) dancing like a maniac to good music in the comfort of your own home.

Feel your body moving and embrace how wonderful it feels just to move. Your legs may feel extra strong, or doing push ups may help you feel extra bad ass. Or maybe you’re twerking it and just feeling lovely in your skin. Allow yourself to fully feel your body and to marvel in how amazing you are.

::Reframe Your Thoughts::

When we look at ourselves in the mirror it’s easy to focus on the things that we don’t like. Acne, dull skin, wrinkles, age spots, boobs that are too big/small/perky/saggy, too much/little body fat, cellulite, thick cuticles, bushy eyebrows, and the list goes on an on. Instead of looking at those things, pick one body part that you really love and focus on how beautiful that is.

Maybe you have beautiful eyes in a gorgeous honey brown color. Maybe your lips are perfectly pouty, or your hips are round and you have a booty that would make J. Lo say, “damn girl.” Maybe your wrists are delicate like a ballerina’s or you have feet that would make someone with a foot fetish have a wet dream. Look at the beauty in that part of your body and don’t even think about the other parts.

::Wear Sexy Undies::

This is my solution for a lot of things, actually. I don’t know why but sexy lingerie has the potential to just make a woman feel good. It’s almost like a naughty secret that hides under regular clothes.

I’m not talking about just wearing a matching set, but rather lingerie that makes you feel sexy – the kind you’d actually want your lover to see you in. The kind that makes you feel beautiful. Wear that for no reason other than you’re awesome.

::Get All Dolled Up::

Now, when I say get all dolled up I don’t mean you have to throw on bright red lipstick and your highest heels if that doesn’t make you feel good about how you look. I mean get all dolled up for you and your personal sense of style. Wear something that make you look and feel like hotsauce, or whatever feeling good is to you.

While I’m not one of those always in sweats or yoga pants kind of girls (not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you) I don’t always go the extra mile. I buy clothes that fit me well and generally just put on whatever’s closest. No lie.

But, When I take extra time to really plan out an outfit and really dress up I feel freaking awesome and I look even better. See, when we feel good about how we look it shows on the outside too. It’s that shine and spark that folks see that make heads turn.

::Accept It::

Our bodies are amazing creations. With them we can do so much from taste to move to experience different sensations. And that is freaking amazeballs, isn’t it? (And, yes, I used the word amazeballs. Sue me.)

Sure, they may not be perfect but they are perfectly ours and really what in life is perfect?

One great way to show yourself and your body love is to just accept it. Accept your body for all it’s beautiful parts and for everything that it is. This doesn’t mean that you have to fall madly in love with your cellulite. I will never love the stretch marks I have from having three kids, but that doesn’t mean I have to hate them either.

Acceptance can be liberating. It frees us from the chains of self-hate and leaves us with more room to focus on the things about ourselves that we do love about our bodies.

Your body is the place your Spirit lives. There’s no point in fighting with it, hating it, or rejecting it. It’s the place your Spirit lives. It’s your temple, babe. Worship it.

 

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Yoga Berra said, “When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.”

Robert Frost wrote about two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and how he wished he could have traveled them both. Our lives are kind of like walking down a road. Sometimes the road is smoothly paved for us and sometimes there are rocks and cracks.

Sometimes we’re guided down the road by our parents, fear, or just the idea what we have to keep going in this direction because that’s the only road we’ve seen, so we make like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and follow it hoping that it will take us to safety.

Or sometimes there are no roads.

When I was little I had my life planned out.

I was going to go to George Washington High School and I was going to be on the pep squad. I would then go on to college, most likely at Spellman, where I would learn to speak fluent French, Spanish and Italian.

See, I was going to be the first female Secretary General of the United Nations and in the past all the Secretary Generals had always spoken multiple languages. Or at least that’s what my 10 year-old self remembered from the tour of the UN.

My plans were like a path laid out in front of me. I knew exactly the road to walk to get to my goal of becoming the Secretary General.

Clearly, that didn’t happen and instead, I choose to meander off the path and into an area that was undefined. And it all started with one small step and one giant leap of faith.

And this little city that you may have heard of – Paris.

In keeping with my young girl dreams I  studied Spanish and, though not completely fluent, found that languages really were a gift for me. So I decided I’d also learn French because why not?

Lots of living and life happened in between and then one day there I was at the airport with a one-way ticket to Paris.

Not only was I completely off the beaten path, but I was deep in the wild uncharted territory of life. And I was scared shitless.

Yet, walking away from the planned path for my life was the best thing I ever did. It changed me permanently leaving a lasting impression like a butterfly tattoo on a teenage ankle.

I did not have a plan when I left other than to live and experience, and to see and to feel. There was no goal in mind other than to grow and just have life experiences. The feeling of just being without anything extra attached to it, no goal or expectation, felt like freedom. It felt the way birds must feel when they fly high into the air with nothing but the clouds around them.

It felt like life.

But, we get older and wiser and with kids it’s not always possible to just throw on a back pack, stuff some traveler’s checks in your pocket, and hop a flight to anywhere.

Yet there are still things that we can do to feel that sense of freedom, of excitement and mystery in our everyday lives.  We can feel freedom and that je ne sais quoi by just daring to be a little uncomfortable, or maybe even scared shitless, and to try new things by taking a tiny step off the usual paths we walk down.  Things like…

Doing Something You Never Want to Do Alone

For me, it’s going to the movies. I’ve never wanted to go to a movie alone. I don’t know what weird phobia that is, but I’ve always imagined that going to the movies alone would be a really lonely experience. And yet when you’re at the movies it’s not like you talk to anyone anyway.

In reality, these types of feelings are usually fear. Fear that someone will see us at the movies alone and think, “Wow, what’s wrong with her?” I mean, I traveled the world alone at a very young age knowing no one there and yet I couldn’t get my butt to the movies alone? Life is nothing if not ironic, n’est pas?

When we push ourselves to do things that are outside of our comfort zone, we create a space for possibility. We give ourselves permission to experience life.

Taking The Stairs – Doing Something Uncomfortable

I recently went to a retreat for my life coach certificate program. When we registered we had the option to have single or double rooms. Normally, I’m the type who would pay extra for a private room because I don’t want to be sharing a room with a stranger.  I mean a stranger is someone who I wouldn’t know. Someone who could be, well, strange.

But, I really want to meet and connect with other women who are like me and how on Earth am I going to make new friends and connections if I don’t step outside of my comfort zone? So, I got the double room. And then I spent the days leading up to the retreat kicking myself and even as I was checking into the hotel considering whether it was too late to get the solo room.

I didn’t end up getting a solo room and, instead, had a great roomie and a fun night of talking and laughter. I got what I wanted – connection. I also opened my world up more and gave myself a little more freedom to just live and to be. And all by taking a tiny step off the usual path I walk down.

Getting Classy

No matter how old I get I will never stop being curious about the world and wanting to try new things. There is just so much out there to experience and yet we often miss out on things that we would really enjoy because we don’t make like Nike and just do it. Classes are a great way to expand our minds and open up more space in our lives.

It could be anything from a language class to a dance class, a cooking class, or learning how to fix your own brakes.

I am participating in two programs this year and my mind and heart have been blown wide open. For the first time in a really long time, I feel the same sense of excitement, bewilderment and endless possibility that I did when I stepped off the airplane in Paris when I was 18.

You don’t have to travel the world with a hiking backpack to find yourself or to renew your zest for life. You can just open your mind, feel the fear of trying something new, take a step off the comfort of the path, and run barefoot into the woods of life.

If you don’t like the road you’re walking at, start paving another one. – Dolly Parton

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The great online business guru for the modern day soul-preneur (or really anyone trying to start an online business) Marie Forleo advises that we should start before we’re ready. In fact she says that it’s the “key to sucess!”

Her belief is that you don’t need a fancy website and all the trimmings of a “real business” to make an impact. What an entrepreneur has to offer is more than the total sum of their webpage, how many fancy widgets they have, or whether their monthly newsletter looks like it was designed by a rockstart. Ms. Forleo encourages her followers to make like a baby bird and jump out the nest.

Because you don’t know if you can fly until you jump.

The idea seems terrifying but it makes perfect sense.

So, with that… I’m spreading my wings and jumping head first into the world. In a way, I’m coming out a closet of sorts.

I don’t have my fancy website yet. No personalized branded logo that matches my Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter banners, but…

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I have launched my own Life Coaching Practice!!!

By now you have probably heard the term Life Coach thrown around and if you’re into self-help and all things woo woo then without a doubt you’ve heard the term. But, you may still be wondering, “What the heck does a life coach do anyway?”

I work with individuals who want to live their life to the fullest. My ideal clients are folks who have already planted the seed for change and personal growth, and who are ready blossom into their full potential.

I may not have the fancy site (yet!!!) but a fancy site does not make the work we will do together any less powerful. I have guided my own life from being a struggling single almost teenage mother to a woman with a book coming out this year, and now my own coaching practice. And I am still on my journey and would love to help you along yours.

If you are interested in working with me, you’re in luck! I’m hosting a giveaway on Facebook! When I reach 250 Likes I will be giving away two months of sessions with me! Like my page and encourage your friends to do the same for a chance to win!

For those who want more information about what I do, please feel free to send me an email.

World it’s so nice to meet you!

With love, Yroko Marie, Life Coach