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Ladies have hard expectations when it comes to how we’re supposed to look. Photoshopped magazines and the Victoria’s Secret televised fashion show can do wonders to damage our body image.

Because most of us will never look like that in real life.

Even most of the models in magazines don’t look like that way in real life when up close and personal with them! (Trust me, I lived in London in a flat with high earning, world traveling, Vogue gracing, catwalk strutting models.)

Patterns of body bashing and negative self image can start really early. In fact, I read a figure that suggests that by the age of ten 40% of girls have poor self-esteem or body issues.

We are not taught that our bodies are beautiful and that no matter what our bodies look like on the outside, we should respect and appreciate them. It’s no wonder that so many of us feel awkward in our own skin. We’ve forgotten how awesome we are in every way!

To get that mojo back,a little full on self worship can help you see yourself with new eyes.

::Shake What Your Mama Gave You::

Doing something physical can totally help you feel like a sexy mofo. Maybe that means hitting the gym or using cable to do a free OnDemand video. It could mean taking a yoga class, going for a walk, or (my all time favorite) dancing like a maniac to good music in the comfort of your own home.

Feel your body moving and embrace how wonderful it feels just to move. Your legs may feel extra strong, or doing push ups may help you feel extra bad ass. Or maybe you’re twerking it and just feeling lovely in your skin. Allow yourself to fully feel your body and to marvel in how amazing you are.

::Reframe Your Thoughts::

When we look at ourselves in the mirror it’s easy to focus on the things that we don’t like. Acne, dull skin, wrinkles, age spots, boobs that are too big/small/perky/saggy, too much/little body fat, cellulite, thick cuticles, bushy eyebrows, and the list goes on an on. Instead of looking at those things, pick one body part that you really love and focus on how beautiful that is.

Maybe you have beautiful eyes in a gorgeous honey brown color. Maybe your lips are perfectly pouty, or your hips are round and you have a booty that would make J. Lo say, “damn girl.” Maybe your wrists are delicate like a ballerina’s or you have feet that would make someone with a foot fetish have a wet dream. Look at the beauty in that part of your body and don’t even think about the other parts.

::Wear Sexy Undies::

This is my solution for a lot of things, actually. I don’t know why but sexy lingerie has the potential to just make a woman feel good. It’s almost like a naughty secret that hides under regular clothes.

I’m not talking about just wearing a matching set, but rather lingerie that makes you feel sexy – the kind you’d actually want your lover to see you in. The kind that makes you feel beautiful. Wear that for no reason other than you’re awesome.

::Get All Dolled Up::

Now, when I say get all dolled up I don’t mean you have to throw on bright red lipstick and your highest heels if that doesn’t make you feel good about how you look. I mean get all dolled up for you and your personal sense of style. Wear something that make you look and feel like hotsauce, or whatever feeling good is to you.

While I’m not one of those always in sweats or yoga pants kind of girls (not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you) I don’t always go the extra mile. I buy clothes that fit me well and generally just put on whatever’s closest. No lie.

But, When I take extra time to really plan out an outfit and really dress up I feel freaking awesome and I look even better. See, when we feel good about how we look it shows on the outside too. It’s that shine and spark that folks see that make heads turn.

::Accept It::

Our bodies are amazing creations. With them we can do so much from taste to move to experience different sensations. And that is freaking amazeballs, isn’t it? (And, yes, I used the word amazeballs. Sue me.)

Sure, they may not be perfect but they are perfectly ours and really what in life is perfect?

One great way to show yourself and your body love is to just accept it. Accept your body for all it’s beautiful parts and for everything that it is. This doesn’t mean that you have to fall madly in love with your cellulite. I will never love the stretch marks I have from having three kids, but that doesn’t mean I have to hate them either.

Acceptance can be liberating. It frees us from the chains of self-hate and leaves us with more room to focus on the things about ourselves that we do love about our bodies.

Your body is the place your Spirit lives. There’s no point in fighting with it, hating it, or rejecting it. It’s the place your Spirit lives. It’s your temple, babe. Worship it.

 

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“Never give up.”

“Keep on trucking.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!”

Many a bumper sticker, magnet and cute meme are peppered with quotes about never giving in and never giving up.

McHammer sang that he was “too legit to quit.”

There is something to be said for sticking to your guns and trying your best even when you fail at something. Many a successful person has failed miserably at their first attempt at something. People probably questioned their sanity at times when they continued to try.

“Don’t be a quitter,” is a message most of us learned from early childhood.

But there are times when the best thing we can do is quit. There are times when quitting is not a sign of weakness, or not being smart enough or good enough, or a judgment on the type of person someone is.

Sometimes quitting is an expression of self-love.

Some great things to quit are:

::Smoking Cigarettes::

Now, I’m not one to judge but let’s get real here, smoking is bad. It’s not a judgment; it’s just science. I smoked for years. I have even smoked the occasional outside a bar cigarette even after quitting. I’m not saying that it’s easy to quit, or that the occasional once a year “cause it’s my birthday” cigarette is bad either. What I am saying is that smoking is not good for any of us and the less we do it the better. When we do things we know are harmful to us, we really have to think about why we would make that choice.

I’m not telling you something you don’t already know. If you’re still smoking that’s your choice but quitting is always the better option. Plus, when you quit smoking you’ll realize how horribly those things stink. So, if you look at it from that point of view, you’re also quitting being stinky at times. Cigarettes are also hella expensive. That’s shoe money right there which makes quitting a triple win because you’ll have better health, no worries about smelling bad, and have more shoe money. Winning!

::Making Excuses::

We’ve all had times when we don’t want to do something and we say no but we still feel like we have to make an excuse or explanation. Just as we’ve all had moments when we want to do something but we’re worried about what someone else will think so we make an excuse about it.

“I’d really love to come to that event, but my husband is working and I don’t have a babysitter, so I wont be able to make it,” or “I know it’s dumb but I’m only taking this dance class because I need another elective to get my degree.”

Those kinds of excuses – quit that shit!

Saying no is okay. So is doing what you want even if no one else gets it.

No excuse is needed.  This goes at work, or with your spouse, your kids and even with yourself.

When we make an excuse we’re essentially shifting our focus from how we feel onto something else to avoid being accountable, in a way. Like, last night I didn’t workout that hard or for that long. I said, “oh, I’m too tired to do this,” which was an excuse. In reality I just didn’t feel like it. And that’s cool – no excuse needed. But I told myself that excuse to avoid feeling guilty when in reality I had no reason to feel guilty about it. It was my choice and I should’ve just been okay with it.

Owning how we feel is important and is also a way that we can hold on to our power. When we make excuses and are not accountable for how we feel, it’s almost like we’re saying how we feel isn’t okay and can’t stand on it’s own. It’s kind of like admitting we’re guilty for how we feel so we have to find a reason outside of ourselves to make it okay. Whether you want or don’t want to do something, that’s cool. Do you and quitting making excuses.

::Saying You’re Broke::

One of the things I’ve really been working with is my relationship to money and realizing that money is just energy. I’ve also been working on taking responsibility for my financial decisions. “I’m broke,” used to be a standard response when asked to do something I didn’t want to spend the money on.The truth is that usually when we say “I’m broke,” we’re not broke. It’s just that we choose not to spend our money that way. I’m sure that, like me, when there has been something that you really want to do, you found the money to make it happen.

Quit saying you’re broke and instead own your financial choices. Replace the thought “I’m broke” with “I choose to spend my money differently,” or “I choose not to spend my money on that right now.” Not only are you totally owning it, but it also keeps the good money energy flowing towards you. Think of it like this, do you think energy wants to flow to something that is broken? Probably not.

::Playing Small::

(Okay, here’s where it gets super sappy and woo woo ’cause that’s how I roll. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

You were born to shine. You are special because you are YOU and there is no one else in the world quite like you. You were here to share your unique gifts and talents and to be fully yourself. You were not born to play small, beloveds.

So, quit playing small. When you do something great — own that shit. Own the hell out of it like it’s your favorite new purse that you just have to carry with you everywhere. Reach for your dreams, whatever they are, even when it feels scary and like you’re doing everything wrong. Even when it makes other people uncomfortable.

Quit playing small in any way that you do be by taking care of everyone but yourself, to over committing, to not speaking up in a work meeting to share a great idea, or staying in situations that no longer serve you. Stop playing small by quitting the things that make your heart sing while holding onto those that don’t.

Like everything in life, there are times when you keep walking forward knowing that no matter how many times you get lost, you will reach your destination. But there are also times when we need to know when to fold ’em. Never feel too legit to quit.

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The great online business guru for the modern day soul-preneur (or really anyone trying to start an online business) Marie Forleo advises that we should start before we’re ready. In fact she says that it’s the “key to sucess!”

Her belief is that you don’t need a fancy website and all the trimmings of a “real business” to make an impact. What an entrepreneur has to offer is more than the total sum of their webpage, how many fancy widgets they have, or whether their monthly newsletter looks like it was designed by a rockstart. Ms. Forleo encourages her followers to make like a baby bird and jump out the nest.

Because you don’t know if you can fly until you jump.

The idea seems terrifying but it makes perfect sense.

So, with that… I’m spreading my wings and jumping head first into the world. In a way, I’m coming out a closet of sorts.

I don’t have my fancy website yet. No personalized branded logo that matches my Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter banners, but…

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I have launched my own Life Coaching Practice!!!

By now you have probably heard the term Life Coach thrown around and if you’re into self-help and all things woo woo then without a doubt you’ve heard the term. But, you may still be wondering, “What the heck does a life coach do anyway?”

I work with individuals who want to live their life to the fullest. My ideal clients are folks who have already planted the seed for change and personal growth, and who are ready blossom into their full potential.

I may not have the fancy site (yet!!!) but a fancy site does not make the work we will do together any less powerful. I have guided my own life from being a struggling single almost teenage mother to a woman with a book coming out this year, and now my own coaching practice. And I am still on my journey and would love to help you along yours.

If you are interested in working with me, you’re in luck! I’m hosting a giveaway on Facebook! When I reach 250 Likes I will be giving away two months of sessions with me! Like my page and encourage your friends to do the same for a chance to win!

For those who want more information about what I do, please feel free to send me an email.

World it’s so nice to meet you!

With love, Yroko Marie, Life Coach